You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
