I got chris browned last night
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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