dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
