discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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