how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
