I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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