he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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