Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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