I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
