I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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