what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
