I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
