I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
