i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
