I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I will be naked everywhere
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
