Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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