I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
