I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
