May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I enjoy the company of your penis
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