Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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