All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
