Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
