I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
