If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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