is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
