whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
