my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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