She announced her abortion via fbk
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
