1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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