Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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