hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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