Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
