To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
