dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
