Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize