So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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