Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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