why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize