Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
you made out with another girl for some wings
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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