on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
