I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Panties = found
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
