dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think I sprained my soul last night
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize