fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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