It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
