thus making me awesome and them whores
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
