Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
