do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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