So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
