He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
