He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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