all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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