Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
