I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
