: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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