Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
