Betty ford says i'm here all night
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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