those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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