is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
