What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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