no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
