Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
