Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
