he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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