your thong is hanging out like whoa
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize