If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize