I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
