Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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