your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
