8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
