i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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