hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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