Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
