I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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