So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
