i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
