Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
