You were right. It hurts to walk today.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize