So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
